I Once Was in Love

I once was very much in love with a lovely, dark-eyed, seemingly even-tempered woman. We created a world of two that sustained us. We imagined our "perfect" future together. Knew the names of our children five years before the first was born. She insisted on having a girl, then a boy, and got it! She also insisted that they would be perfect in every way. That she didn't get, and it destroyed our marriage.

The woman I loved so much no longer exists except in my memories. I'm no longer sad over my loss. I accept that life's inevitable disappointments can change people; bring out the worst in them. The woman I loved became a screamer, and I became a referee. We divorced after 19 years, 364 days of marriage. That was four years ago.

I see the woman I once loved several times a week. I have no idea who she is now. Certainly not the woman I cocooned with during our first years together, and not even close to the woman I divorced. What I feel for her now is not love or hate, but something close to indiferrence.

I, of course, have custody of our not perfect kids. I live a not perfect life. I'm fairly content. I accept that life has a wicked curve ball that I mostly can't hit.

I hope that love strikes me again some day. I want to put into practice all that I've learned from my experiences.